How Can One Person be So Bad at Both Stealing Bitcoin and Rapping?

The Heather Morgan (aka Razzlekhan) story is so damn fun, if you’re a fan of schadenfreude and/or very, very, very bad music.

Ilya “Dutch” Lichtenstein, 34, and his wife, Heather Rhiannon Morgan, 31, are accused of helping to “wash” 119,754 Bitcoin pilfered from Bitfinex and allegedly transferred into a digital wallet controlled by the husband, prosecutors announced…Prosecutors said the pair spent the proceeds from the theft on gold, NFTs, and “mundane things such as purchasing a Walmart gift card for $500.” In a statement, Bitfinex said it is working with the Department of Justice to claw back the stolen Bitcoin…

As her alter ego “Razzlekhan,” Morgan described herself as “like Genghis Khan, but with more pizzazz.”

“No one knows for sure where this rapper’s from—could be the North African desert, the jungles of Vietnam, or another universe,” her website says. “All that matters is she’s here to stick up for misfits and underdogs everywhere. (We do know that she’s descended from a nomadic tribe, though!)”

And yes, her songs are still on youtube . Not as bad as, say, anything in the chap rap genre , but that’s kind of how impetigo isn’t as bad as scabies.

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